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October 17, 2009

My Magenta Imagination Lives For A Night



The scary cost
Of all that we lost
Have you tried to measure, ever?
When the mist and fog let us see, then rebuild.
When the rainbows do not, the droplets shield.
When nightingales fail to serenade…

A Charming End
Comes very slow, her hair loosened.
To fetch us to the other side forever.
Green dreams takeover, White noise shrieks
Empty canvass beckons, Filthy beauty speaks
Through the ice-cold fire I wade…

Helixes don’t match
Silver-shiny-melting eggs do hatch.
Names are called out, fear evoked.
In an open outrage, the winds gush in to conquer
A rhythm rebels, cyano-indigo tunes speak of the anger.
Newness defies the plan, the clan and the dead.

Toxic claustrophobia
Gin, sherry, rum, whiskey, beer
Nothing can, the malicious palettes, cloak.
Children take a masterful task, sink in, toil.
Bloodbath celebrations, ancestries do boil.
We brew up an eternity, facades are shed.

Love deconstructs
The passion, Myths are struck
Legends, they say, overwhelm some souls
Ornate philandering,lose focus of the goals
Candid illusions contradict a life simply made.

October 14, 2009

Consequences of a Conspiracy Theory....

It is 4am in the morning, and I’m still awake. Aimless, Purposeless, I’ve stayed up yet another night. Right now, I’m listening to the song “ Yeh Zindagi Bhi” from Zoya Akhtar’s delightful movie ‘Luck By Chance’. Like its source, the movie, the song,as well as the other songs from this movie, ‘Raahi Re’, ‘Pyaar Ki Dastaan’ and ‘Sapno Se Bhare Naina’), are extremely underplayed. The restraint, the setting limits to its desires to be noticed was the best thing about this Zoya Akhtar endeavor. Also, I remember ushering in the year 2009, in a very lacklustre way, alone in my room, under my blanket, with my Chemistry books, and with this song (or these songs) plugged into my ears. The night was angst-ridden. I was getting nowhere with my Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics, and school-final exams were just two months away. I remember having made myself a bucket-list of things I wanted, and goals I wanted to achieve in the year 2009. I am not an innately lucky person. Things are not necessarily fairy-tale for me. Yet then, and without much hard work from my side, I have been able to(touchwood) achieve and attain everything I’d set out to that evening, even with two more months left for this year to wither away…
“Jo palkon ke tale, hai apne sapne leke chalein, yeh keh do who chale sambhal ke,
Na kar na koi gile, kahin jo thokar aise lage, ke sapnein toote, aasoo chhalke”…
Speaking of ‘Luck By Chance’, I simply adore Konkona Sensharma. Not only is she a brilliant actor, but she is also a very intelligent girl. The decision to not limit herself to neo-realistic, pseudo-intellectual, intellectual, regional-intellectual and renowned-directors’ movies, and to reach out to the mainstream through ‘Luck By Chance’, ‘Wake Up Sid’, ‘Life In A Metro’ is certainly taking her places. Along with the glamorous and undeniably-beautiful Katrina/Priyanka /Bipasha/Kareena , Konkona too is one of the most sought-after actresses of mainstream Bollywood today.
Consequent to a ‘conspiracy theory’, a non co-operation movement launched by my PC, Laptop, BSNL Broadband, iPod and iTunes ever since I returned from my fortnight-long tour of the ‘Land of Gods’-Himachal Pradesh, I’ve been unable to watch any of the movies I’d downloaded and had been intending to watch, like ‘Rear Window’, ‘Pierrot Le Fou’, ‘P.S.I Love You’, ‘Chungking Express’ and ‘New York’. This misfortune has however been amply compensated by the three movies I watched in the theatres(read multiplexes) in the last one week. ‘Wake Up Sid’, ‘Inglourious Basterds’ and ‘What’s Your Rashee?’



‘Wake Up Sid’ evoked a lot of Lakshya-related deja-vu. The movie was a nice watch, however. It never took itself too seriously, and its efforts in conveying a ‘message’ weren’t too ‘in-your-face’. I liked fluid pace, and the lack of majorly convoluted subplots, and build-up of retrogressive and/or clichéd dramatizations of circumstances. Also, for what is probably the first time in a big-budget Hindi movie, the lead actors repeated their costumes. Konkona and Ranbir both were easy and charming, but since it was majorly Siddharth’s world that was being dealt with, Aisha’s character remained half-baked. And Rahul Khanna, once again, saddled once again with a the-guy-who-loses-out-on-the-girl’s-affection role after ‘Love Aaj Kal’ dazzled in his bit role.




‘Inglourious Basterds’ has not replaced ‘Kill Bill’ or ‘Pulp Fiction’ to become my favorite Tarantino movie. Having said that, I loved every moment of the movie for there was no mistaking the quintessential Tarantinoisms throughout the entire running time of the movie. The director retains his himselfness all through. The performances by Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, Daniel Brühl, Til Schweiger, Mélanie Laurent, the generous sprinkling of humor elements, the portrayal of women as masterminds of the French and German resistance, the justifiability of the sadism behind the Basterds’ modus operandi- these are a few among the many reasons why the movie could very well become a cult-favorite among the classes and the masses. Out of all the actors, the two lesser-known faces, Christoph Waltz whose diabolical performance as Hans Landa blends monstrous malice and seductive charm, and Melanie Laurent as the intelligent, intriguing and a master-plotter Shoshanna Dreyfus especially stand out. If you do not watch this movie, it would have greater negative repercussions than the inability of scalping a 100 Nazis would have to an I.B.











‘What’s Your Rashee’ was a carelessly made movie. Ashutosh Gowariker’s( the maker of the brilliant ‘Lagaan’, ‘Swades’ and ‘Jodha Akbar’) decision to foray into the rom-com genre was evidently a fatal mistake. For when you’re watching a movie with a flavor of history, or with an aroma of patriotism, a three-and-a-half hour duration can be tolerated. A rom-com of the same duration would however, without fail, fail to engage the audience, especially when the content is no patch on Lagaan, Swades or Jodha Akbar. It wasn’t entirely a bad movie, but the inclusion of inane, illogical, Rohit Shetty, David Dhawan-esque subplots tarnishes the impressive capacity of the entire movie. Harman Baweja is receding into being a greater non-actor with every movie. His voice and accent would get on anyone’s nerves. The music isn’t bad, though. And then there’s Priyanka Chopra, once again turning in an honest, earnest, effortless, dazzling performance(or twelve performances ?). She is the sole saving grace of the movie, the only reason why I would tolerate the entire movie. She single-handedly does to the film what twelve different actresses could have collectively done. Sounds biased? Not my problem.

Enough for now. I have a lot more on my mind, but won’t say much more in this post.

September 26, 2009

Flavor Changes, Love Remains

As we grow older, the sugar-coatings and the gift wraps start coming off until the innermost skeletons of life start showing. The flavors change and everything starts smelling, looking and tasting different. Not everything attains bleakness or takes a turn towards the worse, but the ‘feel’ of everything changes.

It’s a Durga Pujo Saptami evening. Despite not having essentially been a Calcuttan throughout my life, I’ve always been in the city at this time of the year(apart from in 1998 –the year my family had insisted on touring the Garhwal and Kumaon hills). Exhaustive pandal-hopping to visiting relatives, scaling heights and attaining elevation with friends to donning those new-colorful attires- I’ve had a taste of everything that Pujos in my city are famous for. Yet some of the flavors of the yesteryears are no more. No dhaaki at Maddox Square, no Pirate-ship at Deshopriyo Park, no long queue at Bosepukur Sitala Mandir can replenish the certain warmly cosy and stomach-and-heart-churningly happy feeling in the crevices and recesses of my mind anymore. I wonder why? I’ve not undergone any major tragedy nor have I come to derive immense pleasures from any other quarters of my life. The various puja committees still contend for the position of the ‘Best Pujo’ of the city but the entire excitement surrounding the diversity of themes on display, like in the past, is no more. People still wear those new black tees, and girls still get their faces made up, and hair straightened, and cling to their boyfriends(and their potbellies) while riding pillion on their bikes, and the rains still come and wash off the decorations off some pandals, and the puchka-wallahs still make the extra profit, and the Pre-pujo sales still happen, but what the heck?? The flavor is different.

It’s like it was a different Pujo-time me then, and the me of 2009 are entirely different people. I hardly go out with my parents anymore. The memories of the Pujos of the past come back to visit me like visions of another life. These memories are generally lined with inexplicable silver coatings and red hues in my mind… I also terribly, terribly miss the car journeys that we would make from Maithon to Calcutta on Panchamis every year, after school would give over for the vacations. The music playing inside the car, the numerous small-pujas dotting the highway-sides, the awesomely cool(although sometimes smoke laden) air would keep streaming into the car when we would keep the glass-panes open. The highway-dhabas, the occasional tea and aloo paratha halts, the cold-drinks and the Anjan Dutta/Mohiner Ghoraguli or the corny Hindi songs, the plans surrounding the celebration of the festival- all of this would be enough to transform me to a different realm altogether… I fail to understand why I never derive joys from such little thrills anymore. Big city life, maybe?

Having said all this, this season still stays one of my favorite phases in the entire year. And Bijoya Dashami is still the day that makes me feel like I am losing someone very close to me. The wait of one more year-the newspapers say. The year will fly past without your realizing it, they add. “Yeah right!”, I say. A WHOLE EFFIN’ YEAR. Yet, indeed the year whizzes past. Birthdays come, exams come, depressions come, desires to go jump off the terrace come, happiness and excitements come, crushes happen, heartbreaks happen, differences arise, drifting apart from close ones takes place, patching up with certain other people happens, Diwali,Christmas,New Year,Summers,Monsoons go by, until it’s Pujo again. Flavors have changed, but the love remains. I know that even today if I happen to be compelled to stay this time of the year in anyplace other than this city of mine, I will suffer immense mental ‘monkemon’ and trauma-related-to-missing-the-festive-Calcutta…

P.S.: I know I’m an atheist, but sometimes I like to believe Ma. Durga and her family is a real concept. Not because I depend on her to resolve my life-issues, but somehow the entire concept of her family is very cute, especially in these times of fragmented families, where one constituent hardly has time for any of the others(and no one complains).

September 23, 2009

A New Language.


Times change, generations change, but some things never really change. Socially awkward people stay misfits and never find a place for themselves. That was the way the cookie crumbled in the past, and it still crumbles the same way today. Rock music was the voice of rebellion against the tried-and-tested-and-accepted social rules and norms. It was the revolution that questioned bureaucratic authorities. And then it became mainstream, like everything else. Today, calling one’s own self a ‘misfit’ is ‘coolness’. Everyone today goes by ‘I am what I am, Accept me for what I am’. Everyone today is a rebel. The rebel-rocker. The one who headbangs. The one who has tattoos and piercings. The one who is ‘different’ from all the rest. In this voice of rebellion, there are so many rebels , but sadly most of them hardly know what they are supposed to be standing up against, or sticking for. Joe Sat, and Jimmy Page, Kurt Cobain and Freddie Mercury… All the gigs… Learn to strum on your guitar. Dude, that makes you cool. And what, by the way, were these icons trying to get to become obsolete? Any idea, man? Oh how can you?? You are the rockstar, the misfit, the-oppressed miserable adolescent. You have enough issues on your own mind to pause and realize that even today the REAL MISFITS are lonely. They probably haven’t taken to your language, your way of life, which was initially claimed to be the refuge that could provide the weirdos with some shelter?? And not just rock-music. Everything that was niche yesterday is so cliché, so sold-out today. Even this note of disgust is very commonplace in its tone and pattern.

Hadn’t we found an umbrella under which every creature that had not found a safe home in the society could take shelter under?? Why does this umbrella act like the cell-membrane now? Only selectively permeable? Why do we still make faces and smirk at people who aren’t ‘normal’? Why are our minds still so constricted? Why do we cringe at our parents’ outdated beliefs and ideals when we ourselves are merely faking the liberal-mindedness? We are the generation that really wanted to be ‘ranged basanti’(liberated through the chastity and energy of saffron). We are the generation that was supposed to awaken. Weren’t we? Then why does the train still look ready to derail??

It’s time to find a new language of protest.A new language to convey the message that the REAL unusual,unconvential people have been through a lot of shit. A new language that will not hesitate to call a spade a spade and then shove it up the asses of the 'normal', 'cool' motherfuckers.A new language... Not blood, neither gore. Not flowers, nor colors. It needs to be something else, something never previously envisioned. Promise me my friends, you all shall be with me in this quest of seeking out this new device…

Till then, Happy Durga Pujo…
Let not your atheism come in the way of your celebrating this festival…

September 8, 2009

A Decade Gone By

(From my personal diaries, language and content unchanged)

8th September 1999 : Studied for the Maths test tomorrow. Baba helped me pump up the Nivea beach-ball today. Also, played Monopoly with Didu and Buiya.

8th September 2000 : ‘Ujjwal Ek Jhank Payra’ dance final selections done. Our class will be putting it up for the Parent’s Night in December. Debadrita and Snigdha will help us learn the steps mainly.

8th September 2001 : Enjoyed Delhi. Visited some tourist destinations. Visited the Chattarpur temple complex. Saw Keyamashi’s new flat in Gurgaon. Also visited the Lotus Temple. Had lunch at Mc Donald’s with Chicken McGrill with cheese.

8th September 2002 : Baba returned from Thailand. He got us a lot of things. An Ultraman bag, a T-shirt, a shirt, two shorts and Name-stamps for me. He also got loads of things for others. He also got yummy pineapple chunks, and Chrysanthemum drink, and countless chocolates.

8th September 2003 : Watched Koi Mil Gaya for the 2nd time, on a rented CD. Returned Pallavi the cassettes I’d borrowed from her. Studied for the Geography test.

8th September 2004 : Baba went off to Thailand and Singapore for the 5th time. Also, I think Buiya has been reading my diaries or has been cooking up tales and telling Ma that I’m having an affair with… which is so not true… Enjoyed badminton with her, though.

8th September 2005 : Anita Thapa’s Birthday. Physics Practical- Find the time period ‘t’ of a simple pendulum. Reissued the Erle Stanley Gardner’s books from the library and also issued Agatha Christie’s ‘Why Didn’t They Ask Evans’. Convinced Anindita that today would be my last day at DNS. Journeyed towards Calcutta by Black Diamond Express.

8th September 2006 : The fever did not resurface for the 2nd day today. So, has my typhoid left me? I suppose it has. Started making study-plans for the second terminal examinations. Lots to study. Don’t know how I’m gonna cope.

8th September 2007 :Met Debadrita’s new fucking bitch of a best friend Debanjali. If Debadrita wants to claim that Debanjali is like Deboleena, I will be the last person to believe her. Oh my god, never have I hated anyone so much based on the first meeting. Nikita, Rilina, Vishal and RahulDeep still think I’m dating Debadrita. Also, Rahuldeep admitted to be nurturing feelings for *edited*. Haw. I would never imagine.

8th September 2008 : School gave over after 6th period. Hung out in CCD with Arvind and Ikshaku after school. Discussed how even Ikshaku’s parents think he’s gone astray(in all respects :P)